Back in the game…with The Most Dangerous Game

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I know, I know. I’ve been out for a while. Since March I believe.

At this very moment across the country, various Barnes and Noble locations are having a sale on Criterion Collection titles. If you are unfamiliar, The Criterion Collection is a distribution group that collects classic and contemporary films and markets them to cinephiles moreso than the general public. Since Criterion releases are usually higher priced than regular films, I use this opportunity to collect as many as I can during the sale.

One gem I managed to pick up was “The Most Dangerous Game.” The film was directed by Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel and produced by Merian C. Cooper. Cooper and Schoedsack would soon move on after this film to create the landmark adventure film “King Kong.” In fact the sets of this film were used in “King Kong.” The movie stars Joel McCrea and Fay Wray as two people who are shipwrecked on an island owned by Zaroff, played by Leslie Banks. Zaroff is a man who hunts other humans for sport, hence the most dangerous game. McCrea’s character, Bob Rainsford is also a big game hunter and is selected to provide ample challenge.

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I must say for a film that’s only 67 minutes long, it certainly does not waste any time. There’s basically no exposition and I still feel I know enough about the characters we should be focused on. Also with this being a Pre-Code film, the violence feels a little more tangible.

I also did not expect to be drawn in with the level of suspense that this movie has. Once the hunt begins you feel part of the battle of with between the two hunters and how a calm head really is the greatest weapon you can possess in a situation like that. I certainly hope the short story that this film is based off of by Richard Connell is even more suspensful.

If you have the chance to watch this great adventure film, it reall is a gem and I would highly reccomend it. “The Most Dangerous Game” is currently available on Criterion Collection DVD, Hulu Plus and also on YouTube. This is a great example of classic Hollywood filmmaking.

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Due to the sale, my list may most likely have some major changes coming soon. Stay Tuned. I won’t be gone as long again,

Barbarella…It was what I thought it was. And I was still surprised.

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Oh 1968. A great year in film that brought us 2 seminal science fiction pictures, Planet of the Apes and 2001: A Space Odyssey. However we forget there was a third.

Barbarella.

That mind shattering Science Fiction epic starring Academy Award winner Jane Fonda in a groundbreaking roll.

To answer your question, I did not use the incorrect word. I meant roll as in the opening credits that have Fonda rolling in zero-g as she removes her space suit.

As far as legitimate substance in the movie Fonda’s body is all you get. Which isn’t bad when you get a chance to see it. However you do have to go through portions of the actual movie to get there.

I know I’m being unfair, it was a bad movie that became a cult classic. I get that. For me however it just wasn’t fun to get through. Every movie doesn’t have to be The Godfather, but I do like to have fun. I’ve seen plenty of B Movies and love those as much as I love my classics.

One thing I will say about Barbarella. I don’t know what Fonda’s thoughts were while making the movie, but I don’t think for one second she phoned it in. Maybe that’s because of her bloodline or she legitimately had fun while making it. And if either one of those assessments are correct, then she certainly is one of our treasured acting gems.

Despite that I didn’t enjoy it I am glad that I have gotten this off my list of shame. It is a part of cinema lore and should be seen whether you like it or not.

This is pretty much all you need. Part of me wishes I could see Jane Fonda back in the 60s

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“Son of a Gunderon, I’ve always wanted to be a mariachi!”

A Double Feature of Repentance

Well with less than a week in January, I have completed the first of my 12 month program to atone for my cinema sins. I originally did not have El Mariachi on the list but when I realized I had never seen the debut feature of one of my favorite directors. I knew I had to do a double feature. With this being the last day of January I am here to report.

1. Fargo

I am really glad I finally got to see this Coen Brothers masterpiece. Sadly they were robbed at the Academy Awards. Thankfully Frances McDormand got a much deserved recognition for Best Actress. I loved the pacing of the film and the care placed in showing the almost immediate unraveling of this so called plot and Marge Gunderson’s polite police work to solve the case. Fun and quirky.

2. El Mariachi.

I feel I did myself a disservice not seeing this film sooner. I love pretty much all of Robert Rodriguez filmography and Desperado is my second favorite after Sin City. El Mariachi reminds of a pseudo prequel/remake/reimagining of Desperado. It almost had a sort of Hitchcockian feel of a case of mistaken idea combined with the mastery of Sergio Leone. Good action and very stylish camerawork show that Rodriguez is still one of the most consistent directors cinema.

One step to repentance complete.

TAKEN: The Unofficial Guide To Proper Throat Chopping

Welcome to @andykoz’s Shame of January! Where all my wildest thoughts come out as 1’s and 0’s.

Throwing this out there: my style of write-ups aren’t for everyone. Just a warning.

This month was Pierre Morel’s 2008 breakout hit, “Taken”, starring Qui-Gon Jinn. Not categorized as a must-see classic but I have to say that this was the most fucking hyped up movie that I have come across in a long, long time. For some reason, when people reference it and I go, “Nah, I haven’t seen Taken” It boggles their mind and their head explodes. After I clean up that disgusting mess, I ask them “Why does this movie, above ALL other movies, matter?” and they respond with “Because Qui-gon Jinn is bad-ass in it”. Uh, O.K.? That’s the most you can say about the movie? Sometime I’ll also get the, “I dunno, man, it’s just awesome.”

………….

Listen, bro, you’re not selling that shit well. I’m not saying every fucking movie has to be perfect, but all you have is a, “I dunno, just see it” or “He’s bad ass!” and then you just shut up about it? Geez. You’re just making this movie sound so fucking appetizing. CAN’T FUCKING STAND THE TEMPTATION TO WATCH IT.

And this happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I cracked. I gave in. I finally watched the, “Dunno, man, it’s cool as hell’ movie.

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After finishing it, I have ask the fans . . . why? Why is THIS movie “the shit”, above all other action thrillers that have come out in the last decade or so? Have you seen “The Raid: Redemption” or “The Professional’? Hell, I’ll even throw in the first fucking “Bourne” movie into the mix.

Don’t get me wrong, it had its moments. All the adrenaline fueled split seconds when you realize Qui-Gon Ginn is about to just fucking break some shit (or people) . .  . man those were fucking satisfying. Big ass smile on my face. But how many moments like that were there in the film, maybe five or six? Three seconds of “awwwwwwwwsshhiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt!!!!” moments doesn’t really help balance out the other 93 minutes run time.

There were moments I sat there and thought that watching “Tekken” over “Taken” would have been better. Then I realized that was an idiotic thought and continued to watch.

Personally, my favorite Qui-Gon Jinn moments were the ones outside of the fighting scenes where you could see the fuel building up for the fire. He truly cares for his daughter, Kim, whom he protects and holds close to his heart. Tints to his background and previous character traits were subtle and brushed off. The only characteristic that was shown was that he, at one point, was a shitty dad. Despite all of that, some odd reason, you have sympathy for him. plus it helps his cause when Famke Janssen is a TOTAL bitch to him throughout. Seriously though, not a lot of extra info about ANYONE who participates in this movie. Do you really need to know? I guess not but I would like to know more than the fact that Kim is 17 and overly protected. What kind of pudding does she like? What salon does she go to? Does she file, paint, or clip her fingernails? THESE are the important, little things I want to fucking know!

One of the unusual parts of this movie was that there was no big, bad antagonist but more of a series of smaller antagonists who, together, made up the overarching villian. Unfortunately, I do not mean like when the Power Ranger Zords combine together and make an even more bad-ass Megazord.  Sure, there ended up being one, kinda sort main guy(total of like 5 minutes of screen time?), but even to that extent, he had so many imortnat evil layers to bypass before you reached him, he never felt like the single, main enemy. All the small pieces – henchmen, group boss, shitty tattoo artists – they all felt like the worst people in the world when Qui-Gon Jinn was fighting them because you sit there thinking, “Is this him?! Is this the dude that kidnapped Qui-Gon’s daughter? FUCKING BASTARD!” then it just turns out the bad guy on screen is just part of someone else’s main plan. It keeps on going and going like this. Some say that’s how the second movie is even possible. Seems like the match-up ladder you have to climb in MORTAL KOMBAT the arcade game.

Best part of this movie were the fucking kung-fu moves Qui-Gon Jinn had. That fucking throat chop move – BICKITYBAM! Right in your esophagus. Lay down, mothfucka! . . . SHIT, that had to hurt. Turns out, an ex-CIA agent or whatever is really good with a gun, too. Why use a gun when you chop the shit out of someone’s throat? I ask myself that question everyday.

I feel like the movie was almost too to-the-point or matter-of-fact. It had absolutely no extra fat to trim. It’s almost in-your-face about it with the short 93 minute run time. So much that it seems like someone needs to stuff the movie carb heavy foods or empty calorie sodas to gain some substance. Maybe we live in a time of excess story and plot, making movies like “Taken” seem like a breath of fresh air. If that’s the case, fine, but in an action movie like this, just give me longer and more intense fight scenes like “The Raid: Redemption” and then maybe I’ll forget this ever happened. 6 ouf 10 “Who Gives a Shits”

Now excuse me while I bask in almighty glory that is “Crank 2: High Voltage.”

Maybe I’ll write differently next time. Nah.

-Andy